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25 questions to improve your emotional intelligence

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There is a lot of talk about the governance experience required by board directors to fulfil their duties on a board(which is a good thing!). What is talked about less so though but is becoming more and more important is the ability for board directors to bring emotional intelligence into the boardroom.

Exceptional board directors lead with humility, respect, have the awareness of the impact they have on those around them and know when to speak and when to listen.

Need a reminder about what EQ is all about?  Emotional intelligence is described by Perter Salovey and John D. Mayer as:

The ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate amongst them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.

Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ, he classifies emotional intelligence into five domains:

Self Awareness: Knowledge of your states, preferences, resources and intuitions.
Self Regulation: Management of your states, impulses and resources.
Motivation: Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals.
Empathy: Awareness of others’ feelings, needs and concerns.
Social Skills: Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others.

Here are some reflective questions to ask yourself to develop your emotional intelligence as a board director or team member.

Self Awareness

1.  Honestly do you know the strengths and weaknesses you bring to the boardroom?
2.  How do you define yourself? Are these self perceptions accurate? How do you test these?
3.  Do you listen and seek opportunity to understand how others perceive your strengths and weaknesses?
4.  What are your personal values and are they aligned with the organisation you serve?
5. Do you rate yourself as a continual learner? Would others have the same view?
6. Do you act with humility rather than arrogance?

Self Regulation

7.  Are you respectful in your language and actions to your fellow board directors, staff and stakeholders?
8.  Are you able to keep calm during conversations?
9.  Do you listen openly to other’s points of view?
10.  Do you notice when you’re frustrated during conversations?

Motivation

11.  Do you truly understand what motivates you to serve on a NFP board or in your work team?
12. Do you serve the long term interests of the organisation rather than your own concerns or short term objectives?
13. Do you act from a place of authenticity?
14. Are you self motivated to serve on a board or at work?
15. Do you set and aim to reach goals personally and as a collective on the board?

Empathy

16. Do you put yourself in the shoes of the people you serve?
17.  Do you understand the values, strengths and goals of your fellow board directors or team mates?
18.  Do you share the workload equally on the board?
19.  Are you willing to see how others perceive situations and decisions to be made?
20. Do you work hard to be trustworthy?

Social Skills

21. Do you commit to working respectfully with your fellow board directors?
22. Do you reach other to develop a strong relationship with your fellow board directors?
23.  Do you make time to have conversations outside of the boardroom to deepen your relationship with your fellow board members?
24. Are we committed to working as equals in the boardroom?
25. Do you act with a positive attitude?

Emotional intelligence is a critical component of an effective board. Are you actively cultivating the skills of emotional intelligence?

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4 Steps to Unlocking Your Potential with Emotional Literacy

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Isn’t life an emotional rollercoaster at times? Do you feel that and wonder, how can I not get caught up in my emotions all the time? It’s true, gaining emotional literacy is the key to unlocking your inner awareness and untapped potential.

It’s about starting to think, feel and act more intentionally rather than just react to life.

We all experience emotions constantly, but it is rare that we understand exactly what they are and what they are telling us. We don’t realise it, but our emotions are a source of endless information about ourselves, the people around us and the environments we’re in! The trick is to observe them more!

So, what is emotional literacy?

Emotional literacy is not just having general knowledge about emotions but becoming fluent in your very own emotional language.

Developing emotional literacy allows you to:

  • Improve your problem-solving skills.
  • Make more informed, emotionally intelligent decisions.
  • Become a better leader and team player.
  • Learn vital information about your thinking and behaviour.
  • Strengthen your relationships with others.

Deciphering Emotions

In The Heart of Leadership, Joshua Freedman tells us that all emotions fall on an intersection of two continuums: pleasantness and intensity.

So your emotions range from pleasant to unpleasant on one continuum and from mild to intense on the other. The location of an emotion on these two continuums can dictate your decision-making, how you perceive and respond to others and your performance. This is why it is so important to have emotional literacy so you can be aware and place your emotions. Test the truthfulness of what you’re feeling or whether you need to shift emotions to see the issue differently.

The following steps are a starting guide to learning and interpreting your emotions.

1. Realise your emotions are assets

As a culture, we tend to deal with our emotions in a very unproductive way. We stifle them because we think they are weak or ugly, or we respond to them in a way that is unhelpful.
Wouldn’t you like to experience your emotions guilt-free and actually benefit from them? It sounds too good to be true, but it is possible.

Your emotions are letting you in on the very nuanced details of your life:
‘You didn’t get enough rest on the weekend’.
‘This person does not seem trustworthy’.
‘You should work on more projects like this’.

In Essentials of the Human Brain, John Nolte explains that the limbic system, or the emotional brain, is responsible for providing input from our surroundings and to indicate how our body is doing. It sends this data around the body and you feel emotions as physical sensations. How amazing is that?

It’s time to stop thinking about emotions as obstacles and realise they can move you in new and exciting directions.

2. Stop ignoring emotions

The next step is to stop ignoring your emotions. Have you ever had a feeling in your chest during tense or uncertain circumstances? Does that feeling ever go away without a change of some sort? Perhaps not.

If nothing changes, unpleasant emotions like stress, fear and anxiety can grow in intensity. Our brain just gets more desperate to have its message heard and acted on. If you feel apprehensive about a big meeting one week prior and don’t do anything to better prepare yourself, you will surely feel terrified one hour before.

On the other hand, pleasant emotions need to be followed up. If you feel happy about something, that is a great indicator that you should keep doing it!

3. Start to name your emotions

Now that you’ve started paying attention, you can start thinking about and speaking about your emotions more explicitly. It’s amazing how much of a difference it can make to pause and think or even speak about what you are feeling!

When you name an emotion, you’re acknowledging that it’s there, opening up a channel to begin considering that emotion. Sometimes, naming an emotion is powerful enough to change the direction of a situation. As you make this a habit, you’ll notice yourself becoming more present in each moment as your inner dialogue begins to change.

4. Understand the wisdom of your emotions

Once you have developed your emotional literacy, you can begin to better understand how your emotions are sharing wisdom that your mind hasn’t caught onto yet.

You can also start to observe emotional patterns, triggers, shifts and their strength. Don’t judge, just observe. Track particular emotions over a time period – consider emotions you want to have more and less of. Expand your emotional vocabulary by naming your emotions and see how you can express your emotions through conversation, art, writing or music.

It takes time to learn the language

So, the more you listen to your emotions consciously and learn to understand them, the more you can see personal and professional growth. Well-developed emotional literacy takes time and practice. Be gentle with yourself!

Continue to imagine what you might achieve when you know how to work WITH your emotions rather than AGAINST them!

 

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The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start? This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
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Five strategies to help set goals in 2022

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Are you a person who sets goals in December or January for the year? How are you feeling this new year?  Did you take some time to reflect on the past year?  Perhaps use these reflection prompts here.

It’s fair to say that the planning for 2021 and 2022 is very different from past years.  The abounding uncertainty can take a toll on setting goals. If we thought last year was difficult, it really hasn’t gotten much easier this year, and then, you start to think, well, is 2023 going to be much different again, either?  Which has made me very curious about how to best plan and set personal and professional goals during this time.

So what are the options?

  • Do you set no goals at all?  How can you predict what’s around the corner?
    Do you set goals but give yourself a lot of slack or leeway given the uncertainty and wildly changing circumstances?   Do you think about alternate plans or just be okay to push out timelines?
  • Or do you push ahead and set goals as usual despite the circumstances around you?

Here are five points to consider when setting goals for this year.

1. Who do you want to be rather than what you want to do

The pandemic has been a huge circuit breaker for many. It has allowed many of us to think about what we are doing with our lives, what’s important to us and how we spend our time. Are we focused on what truly matters in life?

If you’re reading this blog post, then you are probably amongst the luckiest people in the world. We are lucky to spend our lives with purpose and intention. These years can be used to be reflective. Asking yourself – What is my purpose? What are my values? What are my strengths and how do I want to use them in the world?

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort but where he stands at times of challenge and discovery.” Adversity has the power to shape us in powerful ways.

Introspection and reflection takes time. It takes time to join the dots, make the connections and see the patterns in your own motivations and behaviours. You could use the time to touch base with others and ask them what they have observed in you. You could use the time to go into nature and use awe and wonder to help you reflect. Even if you take the next 1, 2 or 3 years to take the time to truly reflect on these questions, it could set you up so much better for the next 10 – 20 years.

2. Focus on learning

How good a learner are you? No, really. Are you open to learning or have you closed down from it?

One of the best skills we can develop is our ability to learn. The World Economic Forum suggests that over 50% of the current workforce will require reskilling by 2025. That’s incredible.

We all have to be open to learning new skills. We all have to be open to using new tools, apps, and ways of being. With all the predictions of how the workplace will change over the next decade, our ability to learn, unlearn and relearn is vital. Sometimes, you can think you are a good learner but really how good are you?

What’s the quality of questions you ask? Do you tend to jump to advice, or do you ask questions first? How often do you hold on too tightly to an idea or perspective and not be willing to see it from another angle?

So what can you focus on learning this year? A new language, professional skills or what can you learn from another industry? Don’t be afraid to focus on personal skills as well as professional ones. Maybe this year is the year to take up art or pottery. These hobbies give us space to get away from the pandemic or the stresses of our job and learn something new.

3. What can you control in this situation

Uncertainty shows the lack of control in our lives. It reminds me of parenthood! You realise your life is not your own anymore and you are at the mercy of external forces that can change your day in an instance. The pandemic is like this too. You dream. You make plans and then the plans need changing. Though, even in the toughest of situations, we can practice how we choose to respond to it.

Yes, you might not have the ability to control your life as you have done in the past. But what do you have control over? At the very least, you have the freedom to choose your attitude. As Viktor Frankl says in A Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Often with goal setting, you can focus on the outcome that you wish for rather than the journey it takes to achieve it. When outcomes are so unpredictable at the moment, rather than focusing on the end result, focus on the habits to get to the result and derive the sense of achievement by doing it repeatedly.

Want to be a better leader? Focus on the behaviours of exceptional leaders. Practice your long term or strategic thinking. Share positive feedback with teammates on a regular basis. Practice running effective and energising meetings (what does this look like practically?). Focus on conversations with your teammates. What behaviours can you practice that will make you a better leader?

4. Reap the richness in your relationships

So much of what we can achieve as leaders and change makers are a result of the relationships you cultivate. Both personally and professionally. Take the time to cultivate these relationships. Can’t meet in person? Give people a call! Chat to someone different for 10 minutes a day to check, see how they are going and see what their plans are for this year.

The pandemic also has allowed us to focus on our personal relationships – with our partner, our kids, our parents and friends. A great book is Clayton Christenson’s How will You Measure your Life? which challenges you to think deeply about the metrics of success that are important to you. One, in particular, that he talks about is relationships with our family. If we want long term fulfilling relationships with our family, we have to have strong boundaries to safeguard them. That means time, attention and effort. It’s showing up repeatedly. Nobody’s going to give you an award for this, but in 20 years time you will still be married and your kids will like you! I always remember a quote by Dr Fiona Wood, who said “Save the best of you for those who love you the most”.

Show up for your relationships this year. Have you blocked time out in the diary for family dinners, team lunches, holidays or team retreats? Do it now! Now you have the opportunity to carve out the year that you want!

5. Our health is our wealth

The pandemic has also brought into focus the privilege of our health. Like our relationships, our health needs constant attention. What habits can you embed to improve your health this year? Tony Schwartz and Jame Loehr in The Power of Full Engagement talk about four energy sources: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

They suggest:

  • Physical capacity is defined by the quantity of energy.
  • Emotional capacity is defined by quality of energy.
  • Mental capacity is defined by focus of energy.
  • Spiritual capacity is defined by force of energy.

Consider these four energy sources and how you can create rituals to build these in your life.

Feeling tired? Perhaps focus on managing your physical energy through your breathing, eating, sleeping, and exercise.

Feeling unhappy? Consider what brings you pleasant and positive emotions such as enjoyment, challenge, adventure and opportunity.

Feeling unfocused? Be attentive to where your current focus is, limit distractions (news, devices, tv/entertainment) and spend time getting clear on what’s important to you.

Feeling uninterested or not passionate about life? Step back and define your values and a purpose bigger than yourself. A greater purpose unlocks an incredible force of energy to tap into in life!

Time to set some different goals?

Don’t be afraid to set goals this year, knowing full well they may look different to before. Hold them lightly and approach them with playfulness. Expect that there will be challenges and changes along the way. Don’t see it as a failure but be curious and willing to change and adapt.

Happy goal setting!

 

Get this Free Guide: 6 POWERFUL SECRETS TO FIND YOUR HIGHEST PURPOSE IN LIFE

The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start? This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
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10 questions to plan for 2022

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A fresh new year to dream, visualise and plan. But how do you get started? Journalling is a great tool to develop our insight, connect with our inner voice and start to develop clarity about the life you want to lead.

I think we can under-estimate what can be achieved in a year but we have to take the time to contemplate what we will actually want to achieve and break it down into your first bite sized piece of this. So what do you want to be different in a year’s time?

* If you’ve been waiting for the Greater Good Collective program to open up – you’re in luck – sign up before 1 January 2022 and receive eight BONUS online summits throughout the year to keep you connected, engaged and inspired on your leadership journey throughout 2022.*

In December I posted 10 Questions to Fuel Your Reflection in 2021, because we have to look back first!

It’s a great practice to….

  • reflect back over the whole year (it gives you a sense of what can be achieved in a year),
  • visualise what you did with your time (consider the projects you worked on and how you spent your time), and
  • really consider on the key learnings you have taken from the year – seriously, what did you learn?

Most often, we sleep walk through life without taking the time to reflect, grow and stretch into the future. Just as useful as it is to look back, now it’s time to look forward.

10 Questions to help your planning in 2022

So where to start!

Take these 10 journaling questions to planning for 2022. They are simple questions but they will take some time to consider. Put yourself first – before work, Netflix or social media, and make it a priority to immerse yourself in these questions.

1. How will you step into the highest version of yourself this year?

If you practiced all the habits you wanted, lived your core strengths and you were totally aligned with values – this would be your highest version of you. Visualise who and what this person would look like, what choices they would make, how they would talk and interact with others and what they would focus on in life. The game is – how do you edge closer and closer to this person every moment. Think small steps.

Your highest version of you can be your greatest mentor, guide and inspiration – ask her for advice as life’s challenges arise. Tap into the inner wisdom you possess. The clearer your highest version is to you, the better she can guide you through life’s ups and downs.

2. Describe your ideal day, week and year?

How you live your days is how you live your life!

It’s a big statement but it’s true. Our daily habits form the foundations for how you live your life. What is one habit you want to focus on this year and one habit you want to let go of?

Take some time to craft your ideal day, week and year. What does an ideal 24 hours look like to you? Take into consideration all the realities of life and craft what it could look like.

What about a week? What do the ultimate 7 days look like? Break the rules, and see what you come up with. What energises you? Who do you want to spend time with? What goals do you want to dedicate your life to?

3. How will you use your strengths?

Want to enjoy life to the fullest? Put your strengths to work!

Professor Martin Seligman, Director of the University of Penn Positive Psychology Centre found that a key part of flourishing in life and work is using your strengths.  So first you have to know them – do you know them? Inside out and back to front? How much of your day do you get to use your strengths currently?

How can you increase the dial on this and use them more and more in your life. Again, you can be creative with this, perhaps you haven’t come across ways that you could be using them more and more in your life.

4. How will you take care of yourself? What’s your health and wellbeing plan?

Without your health it’s very hard to achieve anything of significance over the long term. Think physical, mental and spiritual. This means you have to actively plan for sleep, rest, nutrition, movement, mental clarity and fun! How could you step up your health? How can you make it fun?

I read an article this year that so aptly described self care as not a day in the day spa but the everyday looking after yourself – cooking healthy meals, moving your body and doing something that enriches your spirit – this is real self care.

Don’t wait until your health is threatened to make health a priority. Do it now.

5. What is holding you back? 

Otto Scharmer, author of the books Theory U and Leading from the Emerging Future talks about the three voices that hold you back…

  • the voice of judgement (shutting down your open mind instead of being inquiring and curious),
  • the voice of cynicism (shutting down your open heart instead of connecting and relating) and
  • the voice of fear (shutting down your open will instead of letting go).

How powerful!

Do you ever listen to the stories you tell yourself or others about what’s happening in your life? I often try to listen in to what I say automatically to friends and colleagues about what’s happening in my life.

Journalling is another great opportunity to tap into your stories.

These stories are your beliefs – but you know what, you don’t have to believe them? What? Yes, your beliefs can hold you back and sometimes you need to actively change them.

What beliefs do you need to say goodbye to and what beliefs will you try out in 2020?

6. How will you give back to the community? And how can you be of service to others? 

If you know me at all, you know I see this as an integral piece in life. Life is energised by using our greatest strengths in service to the world. If you haven’t felt this through your giving before, you probably haven’t tapped into the right giving for you yet.

How can you focus on giving to others this year? Often this can provide great energy in our lives. If you were to focus on one area to give back in, what’s it going to be this year? Commit as deeply to this as the other areas in your life.

Maybe it could be to join a Not-For-Profit board?

7. What do you want to learn?

The most extraordinary leaders I know are people who never stop learning. They are humble and understand the world is changing at an extraordinary pace.

First define the what. Where do you want to grow, stretch and learn this year? If you could develop your own learning curriculum this year, what would it be?

Then think about the how. How will you learn what you want to learn? What books can you read? Are there any courses you can take? What conferences can you learn from? Which key skills do you want to learn and foster this year?

Get excited about what you can learn and how you can grow as a person and leader.

8. What relationships do you want to foster?

Relationships feed you – they can lift you up, inspire you, challenge you and support you. Yet, we are increasingly living in a lonely world. In today’s world, we’ve forgotten how to foster friendships with others.

Lately I’ve become really intentional about the relationships I’ve wanted to foster. Which ones energise me? Provide great insights? Challenge me? Nurture me?

Think about who makes up your community? Family, friends, networks, work colleagues and neighbours.

Be focused on the key relationships you would like to develop this year. Who can help you be the person you want to be? Will you reach out to a new mentor, create a mastermind group, attend a new conference to expand your networks. Foster your friendships?

This will take time. Devote time, energy, ideas and resources to develop these friendships. Make them fun. Make them meaningful. And they will create a life worth living.

9. How will you be inspired?

Inspire – the original latin definition means to breathe into. How do you breathe life into your existence?

What are the inspiration sources that help you stay energised and refreshed for the ups and downs for the year. How can you operationalise your inspiration sources so you can perform at an optimal level?

Inspiration is required on a consistent basis so think about the sources that energise you in life. What gives you energy and what drains your energy?

10. What amazing life adventures do you want to do this year?

Ok – now it’s time for a bit of fun.

Forget work, think about what is going to bring you joy and fun into your life. What life adventures could you have this year?

Think about what you’ve never done before! What’s something you could do for the very first time? It could be a new place to visit, a new hobby, a new friendship to cultivate?

Think about your fears – what are you avoiding? What gets the heart rate going? Life adventures can be a mental challenge as well as a physical one. What is one fear to conquer this year? What training and preparation could you do? Who could you enlist to help you? Give yourself a challenge.

Think about what brings you joy!

Let’s continue the conversation here. I’d love to know what 2020 will bring you!

Get this Free Guide: 6 POWERFUL SECRETS TO FIND YOUR HIGHEST PURPOSE IN LIFE

The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start? This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

10 key questions to fuel your reflection in 2021

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It’s so easy to get caught up in the consumerism of Christmas with the social pressures of presents, parties and more but I have a challenge for you to change and reframe what the last month of the year is about! Instead of December passing you by in a blur, let’s make it a time of review and reflection, meaning-making and connection! Isn’t that what the festive season is really supposed to be about?

 

* If you’ve been eyeing down my Greater Good Collective program then sign up before 1 January 2022 and receive eight BONUS online summits throughout the year to keep you connected, engaged and inspired on your leadership journey throughout 2022.*


Connection and Reflection


Rather than making December a month of overindulgence of food and drink, why not gather an intimate group of your family, friends and colleagues together to make time for personal reflection and then share your reflections with each other. You could couple this with an early morning walk along the beach, an evening yoga session or a fun game of tennis! I’ve made it simple for you and created a list of questions you can send to your friends below. Or better yet, make up your own list of questions to explore!

Reflection can be a powerful learning tool to ignite your self awareness, relationships and leadership. Better yet, it’s absolutely free to do and your reflections get better with practice.


A Magic Carpet Ride


Think of it as a magic carpet ride through the events, activities and experiences that occurred in 2021. Fly through your year from January to now, think about the moments of pure joy as well as the challenges that have made you stronger. I find it can be worthwhile to flick through your diary and note the events, milestones, projects or family moments that made an impact this year.

Step back and reflect – what did these moments mean for you? What have you learnt? By standing back and looking at it from a distance, you can elicit the learning and the meaning. There has been multiple research studies that have shown the benefits of regular reflection. It helps our performance and also makes us happier. Think of it as the debrief after the game, consider each move made, think about how strategies panned out, reflect on winning moves and ones to improve on next time.

As Margaret Wheatley said “We are, always, poets, exploring possibilities of meaning in a world which is also all the time exploring possibilities.”

 

Let me prompt you…

 

I get it… reflection can be hard if it’s a muscle you haven’t used in a while. So let me take some of the pain away but giving you some prompts to help with your thinking. Here are 10 questions to get you thinking about the year that’s been!

1. What has made you proud this year?


Tap into the experiences and achievements that made you feel happy, satisfied and alive!

Sometimes our reflections can be dogged by what went wrong and how do you improve. Instead, I want you to focus on the activities that made you the proudest this year!

What activities can you credit to your hard work, initiative or creativity? Sink into these feelings – perhaps it was something you achieved or something someone close to you achieved. Perhaps it was something you overcame this year or a lesson you learned. It could be anything – relationships, goals, hard work or your attitude

2. What inspired you this year?


inspiration: the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

Re-energising is so important. Pinpoint what it was for you.

What were your sources of inspiration this year? People, environments, conferences or videos (like TED videos), movies, events, books – anything! See if you can pin point it – what or who inspired you to be your best?

What were the catalysts to enhance your knowledge, confidence, skills or work? Was it a new podcast, a key event or an important mentor? Share this list with others to combine your inspiration avenues!

3. What are your three key learnings from this year?


What’s been your major learning curves this year?

Instead of sailing into the new year without fully gaining the benefit of all your experiences this year, consider the three main things that you’ve learnt. What did you set out to learn and improve on during the year? Where can you see you improved from last year?

Where have you grown the most as a person, leader, family member or friend? Were these intended learning curves or a by product of circumstance? Either way, we can take each experience to the next level by reflecting on what we learnt.

4. What habits have served you well?


Aristotle said we are what we repeatedly do. It’s quite enlightening to realise that what you do day in, day out makes you the person you are! Maybe it’s a little scary too!

It’s so simple, but it can also mean the discipline of constructing your day to be the person you want to be. What habits did you intentionally practice this year and which ones have slipped in – good or bad? Which habits have you added this year? Which ones did you drop? How did it make a difference to your year?

5. What were your key relationships this year and how have they affected you?


Family and friends, business colleagues and community – relationships can play a key part of your happiness and also your success.

Which relationships made you feel strong and empowered? How did you intentionally foster the relationships in your life? Are you hanging around the right people? Are they lifting you up to be your best? How has your presence positively impacted on the people around you too?

6. How did you utilise your strengths this year?


Your strengths are your superpowers. How do you use them in service to the world? Do you know what your key strengths are? If not, perhaps it’s time to get clear about the strengths that you are or can contribute to the world.

How did you put your strengths to work this year? Are you using your strengths on a daily, weekly and monthly basis? How does it make you feel when you can work in your zone of genius, as Gay Hendricks would call it.

7. How did you focus on what’s fundamentally important to you this year?


It is so easy to get caught up in what everyone else wants you to do. Your email can end of being a huge list of other people’s to do actions! Your family, friends, work or even society in general can dictate what gets done.

Think about when you get into work everyday, do you reflect on your key priorities and set in for some deep, deliberative work or do you check your email and focus on what others want of you? Did you get to focus on what was important to you this year or did you get pulled in different directions?

What is fundamentally important to you and how do you ensure it stays the priority for you?

8. What are you grateful for this year?


Time to evoke a little gratitude. Make a list and check it twice!

Gratitude has immeasurable benefits to your physical health, mental health, improves your relationships, increases your resilience, helps you sleep better, improves your self esteem, not to mention, it makes you happier!

From the huge big things to the tiniest little things. What are you grateful for? If it involved people around you, this might be a nice way to reconnect with people during December and tell them what made you grateful too!

9. What have been the obstacles, hard times or challenges you’ve experienced and how have you grown from the experiences?


Yes there are going to be ups and downs in the year. Times where it didn’t always go to plan. Experiences you didn’t expect. What were your biggest challenges this year?

Revisit these tough times and bring some reframing to it – how has it made you a better person, how did you grow and what did you learn? If it’s still tough to revisit, perhaps it’s time for gather a new meaning about the experience.

10. How would I summarise the year that I’ve had?


Use your creative juices to summarise the year in a creative way.

It’s quite in vogue these days to come up with a word at the start of the year, but I want you to do this retrospectively. How would you summarise it?

What would be the theme, mantra or symbol that characterises the year that you had? How would you draw a picture to reflect on the past year? Time to get out of your head and instead into your heart and body. What colours would you use? What shapes or images represent this year?

Take some time this December…


Grab your favourite drink, put on some encouraging music and sit in your favourite chair or go outside into nature and answer these questions for yourself!? Then come together with friends and share your reflections from the year.

Look out the blog in the coming weeks for 10 Questions to Plan for the New Year.

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The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start? This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
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10 Challenges to Step Up in 2022

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So it’s at this time of the year, we are pondering how to make the most of the year ahead. What habits can stay and which ones need to go! What habits do you need to adopt to ensure you are living your best life.

As James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”

The fascinating realisation is you choose who you want to be. Every action you take is a step forward in a direction. What direction do you wish to go? Which path do you want to take? In today’s blog post we are exploring small actions, habits and mindsets to optimise how you spend your time!

Here’s my top ten personal challenges!

 

1. GOALS – Make a bucket list of 100 goals you’d like to achieve in your lifetime

So, let’s get clear on what we want to do with our lives. Think about all that you have done till now. Are there opportunities you may have missed? Experiences you want?

Can you list 100 goals that you’d like to achieve in your lifetime? This is often called a bucket list. Think about life as experiences – what experiences would you like to have?

Salsa dancing? Bungee jumping? Learn french? Be part of a book club?

How often do you step back and think about this? We are creatures of comfort, and our operating mode would prefer to do things that are familiar rather than explore something new. So we have to continually encourage ourselves to explore new things!

If you struggle with creating your 100 – think about certain themes in your life, for example, what’s 10 adventures you would like to have, 10 hobbies you would like to try, 10 goals you could do with friends, 10 things you would like to learn more about? Your list will only be limited by your imagination. Still struggling to reach 100 goals? Google other people’s bucket lists!

Don’t hold back, no goal is too big or too small!

 

2. ATTENTION – Unplug and tune into you

In today’s world– this is a HUGE one. Make this year the year you reclaim your attention.

Social media, app notifications, emails – these modern day conveniences erode your attention and willpower. How much time do you spend on your phone? How many times are you distracted with a notification? What do you do when you first wake up in the morning or straight before you go to bed at night?

Some of the biggest technology companies in the world are becoming world experts in developing addictions! This is not good for us.. It trains our brains to look for distractions instead of focusing on what’s really important. When we purposefully avoid boredom we miss out on the benefits of stillness and solitude which can boost our mental health, creativity and lead to a greater appreciation of others.

How many great ideas do you come up with whilst scrolling through Instagram or binge-watching YouTube?

It is in moments of boredom, reveals Manoush Zomorodi in her book Bored and Brilliant, that our brain shifts toward creative thinking. When bored, our minds are free to wander and dream, cycling through old memories and reflecting on the present and the future.

As Manoush says, “to think original thoughts, we must put a stop to constant stimulation.” So put down your phone and let your thoughts and ideas run free!

Just 25 minutes a day can equal 2 years of your life!

Think of the time you could regain in your life and put it towards achieving one of your 100 goals instead!

3. RESILIENCE – Take a cold shower

Hate the cold? That’s the whole point! If you want to build your sense of resilience, you need to do the things you hate. You can start with the act of taking a cold shower.

Cold exposure has been shown to have numerous health benefits such as improving your immune system, decreasing depression or help with weight loss – which is really great, but not the reason why we are doing it.

Physiological effects of a cold shower include increased heart rate, higher blood pressure and an elevated respiratory rate, all of which can make us feel more alert which creates a sense of invigoration which might even lead to us being more physically active.

The simple act of having a cold shower helps develop our ability to deal with discomfort. The more we practice dealing with discomfort, the more everyday annoyances won’t bother us anymore. We practice with cold showers so we can build our courage for the important moments in life that are uncomfortable.

Start with just 30 seconds at the end of your shower, increasing these bursts each time until you can manage 5 – 10 minutes at a time. The feeling of invigoration will be immediate – give it a go!

4. COURAGE – Face your fears and be bold

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

So the cold showers are building our courage – now it’s time to push out of those comfort zones and be bold.

Make a list of the boldest moves you could make. Think about the things that really scare you. Reaching out to that person who you admire, attending a conference, speaking in front of an audience, taking on a physical challenge, trying a new hobby.

Dr Stan Beechman, author of Elite Teams writes that fear is keeping you from reaching your potential. Conquering fear should be your primary goal in life.
What fears do you have?

The more you expose yourself to the things you fear, the less anxious they will make you. If the thought of speaking in public makes your palms sweat and your insides churn, start small by speaking up in a meeting, practice speeches in front of family and friends, and take a public speaking class.

Imagine the worst thing that could happen if you do something that scares you – is it really that bad? If we can nurture ourselves through negative emotions and experiences we open ourselves to growth and expose ourselves to otherwise unforeseen opportunities.

Face your fears and unlock your full potential!

5. RELATIONSHIPS – Find people who inspire you

Crowd your life with people who inspire you.

You can start easily with books and podcasts. Then find meetups, events or communities. Invest time in developing the relationships in your life.

Friendships are important to our mental and emotional wellbeing and studies have revealed that healthy social relationships can even lengthen our lives. Even having just one or two strong, healthy relationships can have a positive effect on your health.

Friendships take time and effort. In the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Jeffrey Hall, professor of Communication Studies, suggested that it’s all about the time we invest. His results showed that it takes 40 to 60 hours to form a casual friendship, 80 to 100 hours to be upgraded to being a friend, and about 200 hours to become “good friends”.

An evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar, proposed the social brain hypothesis that predicts there is a limit to the number of people we can maintain friendships with. We have the capacity to maintain approximately 150 relationships. Considering the time it takes to form friendships and that our available time is finite, make sure the time you invest is well directed.

Let’s start clocking up time with people who bring out the best in us!

6. GIVING – Find ways to give back

There are so many ways we can play our part in creating a better world – we can give our money, time, expertise or resources. Stand up for something. Recognise the challenges in our world and do something about it. Get informed. Get together with others and get doing something different because of it.
Our world needs change makers. You can be that change maker.

What’s a cause that is truly meaningful to you? Perhaps it’s something that lights the fire in your belly – gets you angry or annoyed. Find an organisation that matters to you and donate your skills for a couple of hours. Maybe you are good at organising and you can help them organise their space, or maybe you have great writing skills and you can help them with their newsletter. Mahatma Gandhi stated “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”.

When people think of giving they often think of monetary contributions but giving can be as simple as offering friendship or a shoulder to lean on to someone in need. Perpetuate a cycle of giving that inspires those around you and be a part of making the world a better place. Perhaps it’s time for you to find your first community board position?

7. SELF AWARENESS – Create a list of journaling questions

Michael Gelb in his book, Think like Da Vinci explores the habits and rituals of the great Leonardo Da Vinci. In his one short lifetime, Leonardo Da Vinci was creative, a scientist, a town planner and an inventor just to name a few. Da Vinci journaled about everything – his ideas, his learning, his findings and more.

Channel your inner Da Vinci and create your curiosity list. Start by writing down a question that you can ponder in your journal.

  • Am I in the right job or career?
  • How can I use my strengths more everyday?
  • What does love look like to me?
  • How can I be fearless?

Just keep brainstorming questions until you get to 100 – try to do this in one sitting! Then review your list and group them into patterns or similarities. Once you’ve done that, see if you can choose 10 power questions to keep handy when you are journaling.

Da Vinci was far from alone in his habits, Beethoven, Marie Curie and Winston Churchill all journaled to but journaling is no longer considered old fashioned so join the likes of Richard Branson, Oprah and Lady Gaga and get your journaling on!

You can never again have the excuse….but I don’t know what to journal about!

8. STRENGTHS – Hone your superpowers

Do you truly understand, foster and utilise your strengths?

Your innate talents combined with your knowledge and skills, creates your strengths. These are your superpowers.

In order to hone your strengths you need to identify what they are. Your true superpowers are those things you truly enjoy doing. You might not be particularly good at doing these things yet, but you feel engaged and satisfied when pursuing them. Once you identify these practices you enjoy wholeheartedly, just keep doing them and developing them. One of the most influential psychologists of the twentieth century once said “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.”

Focus on building mastery in your areas of strength. Are you a technical expert, a connector, an entrepreneur, a pace setter? Whatever you are, double down on your areas of strength.

“We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.”
~ George Leonard from Mastery

In what ways, can you keep on the path of your mastery and develop your superpowers this year?

9. FOCUS – Break up with complaining

Why not make this the year that you stop complaining!

Do you enjoy a good whine? I think everyone does. But how much do you do it everyday? It can be quite surprising how easily we can fall into complaining all the time!

Time to break the habit.

Will Bowen, author of A Complaint Free World came up with a simple challenge….

“Begin to wear the bracelet on either wrist. When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping, or criticizing, move the bracelet to the other wrist.” The aim is to keep the bracelet on the same wrist for 21 consecutive days.

If you hear someone else who is wearing a purple bracelet complain, it’s okay to point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm; BUT if you’re going to do this, you must move your bracelet first! Because you’re complaining about their complaining.

Stay with it. It may take many months to reach 21 consecutive days. The average is 4 to 8 months.

What a challenge!

Why should we kick the complaining habit? There are many reasons:

  • Complaining induces our stress response which is not good for our brains.
  • Complaining makes it hard to see the possibilities and open our minds.
  • Pessimists report worse physical and mental health than optimists.

This is a great challenge to first be aware of how much you complain and then complete the challenge to erase it from your conversation.

10. VISION – Expand your thinking to the decade ahead!

Instead of thinking about where you want to be and do this year, why not think about where you want to be in 10 years time? What age will you be? What will you be doing? What do you hope you will be doing and what do you want your life to look like?

Commit to the long term. We are a very short term-focused society, our fast developing technology has spoilt us and means we like things instantly. Have you noticed?

Peter Diamandis, author of Bold, bucks the trend here with his challenge – what’s your 25-year commitment? He says, imagine publicly making a 25 year commitment to something you’re passionate about?

Committing to a long term goal will provide you with an opportunity to keep learning. It will allow you to try things out, make mistakes and figure out what works.

Write your commitment down and stick it on your fridge, your closet door, even in your bathroom. Keep it in the front of your mind and take every opportunity to work toward it.

There is great power in this type of long term thinking to make a greater impact in our lives and in society. So what’s your 25 year commitment?

Well that’s it – my top 10 challenges to help you improve your 2022 and beyond. What do you think?

Get this Free Guide: 6 POWERFUL SECRETS TO FIND YOUR HIGHEST PURPOSE IN LIFE

The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start? This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.