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Mentor

How to find and make the most of a mentor

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It’s a special feeling to find a mentor. Someone who inspires you, drives you, and supports you with their time, knowledge and experience.

Finding a mentor and learning how to foster a productive relationship with them is one of the most influential actions you can take to boost your career and leadership. Here’s why:

1) Having a mentor enables you to have a more successful career.

If you are reading this article, you probably already knew that. But, did you know that this is not just standard advice? The research backs it too!

A meta-analysis study found that mentored professionals are able to advance faster thanks to knowledge and networking opportunities that mentors provide. Another study found that young people who have mentors have challenging and fulfilling job opportunities earlier than their non-mentored peers.

Wow  – that’s quite an edge!

2) Mentors have a firm understanding of organisational culture and the personalities of influential people.

This is extremely valuable! Because in many organisations, success depends not only on the quality of your work, but also how well you present yourself and your ideas to the organisation’s executives.

Many busy senior leaders will only respond favorably to work and communication formats that align with their preferences, regardless of what’s being presented to them. Millennials, in particular tend to make the mistake of thinking that if they work hard and offer great ideas, then their ideas will be implemented, and they will be praised.

And while that can be the case in startups, it is not the case in businesses that have hierarchical structures. Mentors can explain what types of ideas are embraced and how to present yourself in the most successful way.

So get strategic with how you present your ideas!

3) Your mentor can increase your job performance.

A Dutch study found that the primary way mentors help you in the workplace is by teaching you how to improve the quality of your work. As experienced professionals, mentors know how to deliver exemplary work efficiently. And the sooner you learn from them, the more you will stand out from the crowd.

Keep reading to learn how to find mentors and develop powerful relationship with them.

Why You’ve Already Met Your Perfect Mentor

When many people decide they want a mentor, they make the mistake of going out and looking for someone new to their networks. They do so by reaching out to people they admire on LinkedIn or attending events in hopes of meeting and asking for help from higher-level professionals they have just met. Too many people make the mistake of seeking out mentoring relationships that aren’t meant to be.

You may need a mentor because you are early in your career, looking to switch jobs, or feel like your growth is stagnating. Your prospective mentors are excelling in their careers and do not have time to invest in strangers. In her book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, recommends seeking mentorship from people whom you already have a relationship with.

You are much more likely to be successful for a few reasons:
• You are adding a new element to your existing relationship – not forming a new one.
• They have seen your work and know what you are capable of accomplishing.
• If you work with them or have met them through a professional group, they are in an optimal position to help guide your career.

Earning a mentor

According to Diane Schumaker Krieg, the Global Head of Research and Strategy at Wells Fargo, one of the leading American banks, the best way to earn a mentor is to excel in your career.

This may sound counter-intuitive, since the point of getting a mentor is to become more successful. But before people invest time in you, they want to see that you are doing everything in your power to succeed on your own.  Showing initiative attracts the right mentors. Make sure you have the skills to be great at what you do and take advantage of every opportunity to demonstrate your value and potential growth. When potential mentors see this, they are happy to invest time and energy in you.

Initiating a mentoring relationship with someone you already know and who has seen your work is a simple as asking for their advice on a problem you are facing at work or how you can progress into an area that interests you. If the individual’s response is positive and they offer you essential advice, every so often ask them more questions to evaluate if they seem interested in helping you further. Once you feel the answer is yes, you can take the more significant step of officially asking them to be your mentor and you can formalise the relationship.

How to tell if someone is receptive to being your mentor

If you are struggling to determine if someone wants to be your mentor, global communications consultant, Glenn Leibowitz, says that you can tell by the amount of effort he or she puts into helping you. Someone who is just answering your questions to be polite will give you simple answers and not follow-up. Mentors feel personally invested in your success. So they’ll work with you to help you to solve your challenges and might check in to see how you are progressing. So it’s always nice for you keep to them in the loop.

If you work with multiple people you admire, don’t limit yourself to a single mentor. Reaching out to as many people as relevant and possible increases the benefits of mentoring. Not only because you get a higher quantity of feedback, but also because individual mentors may go through phases when they do not have time to help you. During those periods, having multiple mentors can ensure you are never without the support you need to thrive.

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Best Practices for Before, During and After Mentoring Sessions

Once you have landed a mentor (or multiple) you may be wondering how you make the most of your time together? Here are the top things you should do before, during and after your mentoring sessions to ensure you use your mentor’s time efficiently.

Before:

One of the most significant mistakes I see mentees make is expecting too much from their mentors. Mentors are busy people who typically don’t have time to answer all of your questions when you want them to answer. They are not there to do the work for you. Use the time wisely to get their thoughts and advice at a strategic level.

At the beginning of your mentoring relationship, ask your mentor how often they want to meet and how much time they have available for those meetings. Before sessions, prioritize what you want to talk about so you have time to address your most important issues in your meetings.

During:

To best utilize your mentor’s time, you need to come prepared to facilitate a meaningful conversation. Don’t expect them to offer you great advice unprompted. According to mentoring expert, Jo Miller, there are four types of questions you should ask your mentor:
• “Stories:” Ask them to tell stories about their own life so that you can learn from their experiences.
• “Situation:” If you are unsure how to deal with a situation, ask your mentor what they would do.
• “Self-Awareness:” Often it can be hard to see ourselves. Ask your mentor for their opinions about your traits, performance, or other personal attributes. Your mentor’s views about you will help you become more self-aware.
• “Skill-Building:” Chances are you need to develop new skills to advance your career. Ask your mentor what skills you should focus on and what are the best resources available for you to learn those skills.

After:

If you agree with their suggestions, apply them as quickly as possible and be sure to share the results at your next meeting.

Acting on your mentor’s advice shows them that you value the opinions they are giving you. However, you do not need to follow their advice 100% of the time. If your mentor suggests something you strongly disagree with, don’t do it. Explain to them why you decided their suggestion was not a good option for you.

How to Give Back to Your Mentor

Mentoring is a two-way relationship. While you may think you have nothing to offer, it is crucial that you find ways to create value for your mentor. Here are a few ideas:

1. Be Successful. The best way to give back is by being successful and showing that their time and guidance has made a difference!
2. Support their work or their charity involvements. Can you write them a testimonial on Linkedin? Can you share your experience of them in a public arena? Could you promote their charity work to your networks?
3. Share your perspective on topics where you have valuable knowledge to contribute. The prime example of this is with technology. If your mentor is several years older than you, they may have difficulty keeping up with the latest technology. You can step in to help them adapt. Offering your perspective on tasks they are working on can add value by assisting them to see their work in the eyes of someone who lacks their professional experience but may be knowledgeable in other areas.
4. Nominate them for an award. Put them forward to show you value their time and expertise.

Final Thoughts

Keep in mind that developing a mentoring relationship is an ongoing process that takes time. Before most people agree to mentor you, they need to see your personality and work style to know whether or not you would be a good fit as a mentee.

Now over to you: who do you have in your network that would be a great mentor?

How to get a meeting with a busy potential mentor

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Working with a mentor can be one of the most fulfilling and useful career strategies. It can fast track your knowledge, expertise, and confidence. And the first point of contact is make or break, especially when you might not know the person.

So you’ve seen, heard, or experienced an amazing leader who you would love to have a one-on-one chat with. They are inspiring, knowledgeable, and highly experienced. Only trouble is – they are also in high demand. We all have many constraints on our time these days. So how do you send a request that will have the most success?

As a regular conference speaker, I know that you can often get overwhelmed with really lovely requests to catch up for coffee dates after a conference presentation. I love meeting and chatting with people but sometimes there just isn’t enough hours in the day! From my own experience, and from other colleagues I’ve spoken to about this, I’ve listed a few ideas to cut through and make you more favourable to get a meeting with a busy potential mentor.

Let’s start with a big meeting request no-no!

The worst possible request is “can I have a coffee with you to pick your brain?”

This request implies a one-way exchange. It’s nondescript. And it lacks any type of focus or value for the mentor. Most people want to help. But help yourself with the following tips and make your next request outstanding!

How to ask for a meeting with a potential mentor

Be open with how

You can ask for a face to face meeting but also mention that you are willing to have a phone call too. Sometimes it’s easier for the person to jump on the phone with you for 15 minutes rather than (up to) an hour’s meeting plus travel time. A phone call gives them an experience of you and perhaps they might meet in person in the future. Check their schedule for public events – speaking or networking – that you could use as an opportunity to meet them and ask them a few questions there. Think outside of the box.

Tell them what you’re after

Tell them what you want to ask! Outline the questions, information, or value you are after.
“Can I meet with you?” doesn’t really share why it’s important that they meet with you specifically. Make it easy for them and share that information.

You want the potential mentor you are contacting to ascertain if they are the best person to talk to. Maybe you’re wrong in your assumptions, and they may be able to suggest a better person to connect with. You might save yourself and them a huge amount of time if you clarify what is it you are interested in.

Make it easy for them

Allow them to name the time and place that’s easier for them. You buy the coffee. Sometimes it might be easier for them if you come straight to their office. Whatever is easiest for them.

Think about how you can give back

I think people forget the most basic ways we can be helpful to each other. Even if you’re just starting out in your career, you can show that you are mindful enough to make a meeting mutually beneficial for each other!

Here are some ideas about how you can be useful to the person you want to meet:
  • You can share their work with your networks. How can you profile their work or charity contributions to your network?
  • Provide a testimonial or a Linkedin recommendation.
  • You could facilitate some business opportunities for them or send them some referrals.
  • Pay them for their time if appropriate. I know many consultants who are constantly asked for their time to give their expertise for free. Perhaps you could purchase their course or donate to their favourite charity.

If you get a meeting, make the most of the time.

The points below might seem basic, but most of the time we can miss these in the busyness of life.
• Come on time.
• Be prepared with your questions. Make their time (and your own) count.
• If you’re meeting at a cafe, pay for the coffee. If you’re requested the meeting, it’s common courtesy to pay for the drinks.
• Send a thank you note afterward.

Final Words

A person’s time is incredibly valuable. If you’re reaching out to an admired leader, role model, or potential mentor, be respectful of their time and show your commitment.

Now over to you: Have you thought about working with a mentor? I’d love to hear your thoughts about this!

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