Alyceum

Igniting Leaders, Inspiring Revolutions

Purpose

Five ways purpose can help in tough times

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Want to carve out time and space for thinking and reflection in 2020? Join me once a month online for 90 minutes for reflection, inspiration and connection. Our next gathering is on the 25 February and you can use the coupon bemyguest to try it for free for the first time. Or better yet, commit to growing your reflection muscle by registering for all the 2020 Alyceum Live gatherings here.

The reality is everyone experiences tough times in their lives. The trick is to build your resiliency so the tough times don’t beat you! One thing that you’ll often find common in resilient people is the presence of purpose in their lives. That’s right – having a purpose in life can help! No one’s life journey is without detours, failures, setbacks, and challenges. Whether it is work challenges, anxiety, stress, unstable personal life, health challenges or family issues, having a purpose makes it all easier to bear.

5 ways purpose can help in tough times

1. Purpose Gives Us Clarity

Don’t get me wrong, having a purpose won’t solve your problems and it won’t ward off the tough times either (sorry). A purpose simply provides you with clarity when everything else might be spiralling out of control.

In his book, Rick Warren says, “when life makes sense, you can bear almost anything; without it, everything is unbearable.”

This clarity driven by purpose will make you unstoppable. Come rain or shine, you know what you want and nothing can sway you from it. You’ll see the obstacles only make you stronger and help you achieve your goals.

2. Purpose Leads to Emotional Recovery

University of Wisconsin’s Department of Psychology, conducted a study to find out the correlation between purpose and negative emotions.

The study discovered that having a purpose in life, helps us reframe stressful situations and allow us to deal with them in a more productive manner–leading to recovery from even severe stressful and traumatic episodes in life.

“How might higher levels of purpose in life contribute to the ability to recover from aversive and unpleasant events? Additional research is needed. However, having greater purpose in life may provide motivation to constructively learn from and reappraise negative events in an adaptive manner and avoid brooding and ruminative tendencies, so as to quickly refocus on one’s goals and purpose.”

Like the study suggests, a purpose in life allows us to build up a resilience muscle that keeps us strong even during hard times. You won’t find purpose-driven people being gloomy and ominous during challenging times, you’ll find them directing all their energy and focusing on recalibrating!

3. Purpose Gives Us a Greater Will to Live

Wow – this is impressive!

One study researched the connection between purpose with our physical, biological and neural health and what did they find…

“The present results showed that higher purpose in life was associated with greater use of preventive health care services and fewer overnight hospitalisations above and beyond the effects attributable to depression, anxiety, and negative affect. This outcome underscores the important point that psychological strengths, such as having meaning and direction in one’s life, involves more than being free from emotional distress.”

So greater purpose can encourage us to utilise preventative health care services and less hospital visits. That sounds good to me!

4. Purpose Helps Us Make Decisions and Smart Ones at that

“Like a compass, purpose offers direction for individuals when making decisions and formulating life goals.” – McKnight and Kashdan, 2009

Stuck on what decisions to make in life?

Researchers, McKnight and Kashdan “proposed five roles that purpose in life fulfils, namely: stimulating behavioural consistency, generating target motivated behaviours, stimulating psychological flexibility, fostering efficient personal resources allocation, and applying higher-level cognitive processing.”

In short – when we have a purpose in life, we are able to execute stable thinking processes and instead of taking impulsive decisions out of grief or stress or anxiety; we make smarter decisions.

5. Purpose Gives Us Hope

Last one is my favourite!

Purpose gives us goals, and goals give us hopes of achieving it with hard work and commitment. It motivates you to set higher expectations for yourself and your future.

In the book, Making Hope Happen, author Shane Lopez shares that having hope can be broken down into three areas: Goals, Agency and Pathways.

You have a goal to inspire you, the agency to believe you can achieve it and the pathways to know that no matter what obstacles you face, you’ll get there.

Time to seek your purpose?

Finding out the purpose of your life has the potential to change everything.

You’re clear about what you truly want and desire in your life, you know what matters to you, and you are constantly striving for that goal. It serves as a strong base in your life and whatever comes at you, this base will always be there to support you lest you fall.

Are you ready to be guided through a self discovery process to understand yourself so you can get on with the important work of cultivating your best self and improving the world around you? Register now for the Purpose Masterclass.

Get this Free Guide: 6 POWERFUL SECRETS TO FIND YOUR HIGHEST PURPOSE IN LIFE

The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start?

This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Four practical experiences to help you form your life purpose

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Want to carve out time and space for thinking and reflection in 2020? Join me once a month online for 90 minutes for reflection, inspiration and connection. Our next gathering is on the 28 January and you can use the coupon bemyguest to try it for free for the first time. Or better yet, commit to growing your reflection muscle by registering for all the 2020 Alyceum Live gatherings here.

For years I’ve been helping people uncover a truly meaningful purpose in life.  There are a number of truly wonderful reflective (research based) activities you can do to demystify purpose, break it down, understand it and start to form it for yourself. This is your life’s work to keep focused on it and refine it to give you meaning in your life.

I love it so much that I developed a three week online course about it called the Purpose Masterclass, where I walk through through these reflective activities as well as practical challenges to get you not only thinking and reflecting but talking with others, stretching yourself and doing stuff – to help you uncover your purpose in life!

In this post, I wanted to share four practical activities that will help you in your journey to purpose as they have done in mine.

1. Volunteer

“If our hopes of building a better and safer world are to become more than wishful thinking, we will need the engagement of volunteers more than ever.” – Kofi Annan, seventh Secretary-General of the United Nations.

Volunteering has been the BIGGEST pathway to purpose for me. I started volunteering as a ten year old in my school environment club and I’ve never stopped. The picture to the right is me at my first international conference representing my community project and country!

It’s allowed me to see the challenges in the world and focus on how I can contribute to them. It’s given me a platform to develop my skills and master my strengths. It’s offered me the opportunity to meet and develop friendships with some incredible people from around the world! The list goes on.

Finding a cause that it not focused on you but other people (or animals or our environment) taps into a deep force of energy in our lives.

How to start?

  1. There are many websites that can connect you with volunteering opportunities. If you have no idea where to start – try a few out to see what really connects and engages you.
  2. See if your family, friends or workplace are involved in any volunteering projects.
  3. Get a group of friends together and find a place to volunteer as a group.

 

2. Travel abounds

“Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” – Gustav Flaubert, French novelist.

Whether it’s a regional town in Western Australia, a very large city in China or the regional communities of Italy, my travels have taught me so much and maybe most importantly it’s taught me that how I live is not the only way to live.

There is a huge world out there. Taking the time to explore how people live their lives gives us greater understanding of our own culture, values and norms. It highlights our own worldview and hopefully allows us to gently uncover how you came to that worldview.

Another way that you can do this in your own backyard is to meet people who are different to you. Perhaps from a different culture or religion. Attend the multicultural festivals, eat at different restaurants, explore the different cultural museums. In Western Australia (my home town), we have the incredible Museum for Freedom and Tolerance facilitating powerful experiences to break down barriers and invite curiosity and learning.

How to start?

  1. Be a tourist in your own city.
  2. Learn about another culture.
  3. Pick up a novel that takes you to another place.

 

3. Experience (or create your own) art

“Art is something that makes you breathe with a different kind of happiness.” – Anni Albers, German-born American textile artist and printmaker.

We are all artists, remember that! Music, art, theatre, comedy or dance to name just a few.

These experiences get us out of our heads and into our bodies. It’s an opportunity to truly be in the present moment – without worrying about the past or the future. To just be! This is the transformative power of the arts.

Art gives us a safe place to challenge boundaries and learn through being part of an absorbing experiences. The creativity of art gives us inspiration in our own lives and helps us fully tap into the human experience.

I love how art organisations are continually stepping up and give us transforming experiences to share with our friends and family. I can highly recommend Perth Symphony Orchestra and the WA Ballet in my hometown.

How to start?

  1. Go visit the Art Gallery, see a play, go to a concert or comedy show.
  2. Get into art yourself – sign up for an art class, dance class or do some improv!
  3. Listen to different music than you usually would – jazz, African, hip hop or classical.

 

4. Revel in Nature

“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.” – Rachel Carson, marine biologist, author, and conservationist.

There was nothing like hiking up the mountain to Tiger’s Nest (Paro Takstang) to the sacred Buddhist site and temple located on the cliffside of Paro Valley in Bhutan (see the pic above at the half way point to Tiger’s Nest which you can see in the distance on the side of the cliff). The natural environment has a transformative power to invigorate. The good thing is you don’t even need to go to Bhutan to experience this. The beach, stars, trees, waterways and connection to animals can do this for us too.

Nature improves our mental health. It helps us to think clearly. It encourages us to breathe deeply. My friend Erika runs beautiful walking tours in Margaret River and around the world.

Nature creates this space for mindfulness. It encourages movement and increases the use of our senses – touch, smell, sound and sight.

The trouble is that we are too disconnected from nature in modern society. We forget about its transformative nature. We wonder why we lack clarity when we are cooped up in buildings all day every day.

How to start?

  1. Watch a sunrise or sunset. Observe the rhythms of nature.
  2. Find a short walk or hike close to home.
  3. Find your natural environment happy place – is it at the beach, under the trees, near a river, the outback, in a park or out under the stars.

 

Get started today

And this is just four practical experiences to help you find and live your true purpose in life! These practical experiences can support and inspire the self reflection and awareness needed to defining your purpose in life.

If you’re ready to discover your own purpose in life, register for the guide below to guide you through the purpose-creating process!

Get this Free Guide: 6 POWERFUL SECRETS TO FIND YOUR HIGHEST PURPOSE IN LIFE

The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start?

This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Are some purposes better than others?

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Want to carve out time and space for thinking and reflection in 2020? Join me once a month online for 90 minutes for reflection, inspiration and connection. Our next gathering is on the 28 January and you can use the coupon bemyguest to try it for free for the first time. Or better yet, commit to growing your reflection muscle by registering for all the 2020 Alyceum Live gatherings here.

Ok, I want to get straight to the point here – do you think some life purposes are better than others? It’s a topic you want to get right, but how much time do we invest in it to consider? Instead we head straight into our careers and lives without understanding if it’s important.

Emily Esfahani, author of The Power of Meaning: The True Route to Happiness, highlighted in her book:

“In the late sixties, the top priority of college freshmen was ‘developing a meaningful life philosophy.” Nearly all of them – 86% – said this was an ‘essential’ or ‘very important’ life goal. By the 2000s, their top priority became ‘being very well off financially’ while just 40% said meaning was their chief goal.”

No wonder there often comes a time when you wonder what the point of life is and perhaps go in search of something meaningful to you.

Four types

In his book, Noble Purpose – The Joy of Living a Meaningful Life, William Damon, people fall into one of the four categories.

1. The Disengaged (and non-purposeful)

People in this category show no engagement to others. They have no interests and activities that involves anything other than themselves.

2. The Dreamers

The dreamers are pro at dreaming. They have ideas and notions about themselves but these dreams never see the light of day. The dreamers never do anything to enact their ideas, not in the present and not in the future.

3. The Dabblers

The dabblers dabble in everything, but temporarily. Their resume consists of several pages in which they seem to have experimented with everything under the sun. And yet, nothing lasts because they lack the commitment, the driving force that will make them stick.

4. The Purposeful

These people have become aware of something that truly matters to them, they have discovered the reason behind their passion, and they have committed to stay with this thing for a long time. All their actions are towards that one thing that now matters to them and will continue to matter to them.

Damon’s research of 1,200 12 – 26 year olds found that only 20% of people fell into the category of purposeful. He found that the majority of people fell into the dreamer (25%) or dabbler (30%) category which have the most potential to find their purpose.

What’s the true meaning of purpose?

A life purpose is a central motivating aim in our lives. The thing that means the most to us, the very thing that makes us get out of bed every morning.

A purpose can help guide your decisions, give you a sense of direction, removes the feeling of confusion and being lost. It influences our behaviour, and most importantly it creates meaning.

The purpose is also different for every single person. One person’s life purpose could be their vocation and to achieve certain goals within that vocation. For another person, it could be providing a good life for their family. Since purpose is quite personal, it cannot be compared to another person’s purpose.

In that regard, one’s purpose is never better than the others.

However, when you compare your own goals and aims in life and how you are drawn to it, then indeed some purposes are better than others.

What purposes to focus on

So just to re-iterate, we are not comparing your purpose with others. All of our lives are different, our stories are different and that is why our purposes are different too. We are comparing the purposes you can focus on in your life.

 

  • A prosocial purpose is better than a non-prosocial purpose

Research describes prosocial behavior as an “action primarily intended to benefit others”.

So, respectfully, let’s forget about you for a moment! Sometimes our ego can catch us thinking out when our purpose becomes all about us!

A better purpose would be something that involves helping, donating, sharing, creating, and volunteering for others.

 

  • A purpose with vertical coherence is better than the purpose lacking it

In his book, The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt discusses the concept of vertical coherence.

According to the research, Haidt drew the conclusion that all the emotionally happy and healthy people have short-term goals that align neatly with their long-term goals–hence the vertical coherence.

So having our purpose align with our daily or even yearly goals is important. Our short term goals may give us clues as to a more overarching purpose in our life.

Are your goals in alignment?

 

  • A purpose that comes from intrinsic motivation is better than an extrinsic one

A purpose based on what others think, the craving for fame, for beauty and fortune is not as helpful as the purpose that is drawn from intrinsic motivation. Your intrinsic motivation comes from connecting with others, giving back and learning and developing yourself as a person.

This is associated with eudaimonia, a Greek concept that refers to the right actions that result in the well-being and happiness of an individual.

When your purpose is based on morals, ethics, goodness, and kindness as opposed to conforming to extrinsic factors then you can truly achieve eudaimonia.

 

  • A purpose based on calling is better than a purpose based on career

Now don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of people get a lot of meaning from their work and career. It’s sometimes good to question – why is that? For example, some people get a lot of external validation from their work – money, status or money – which drives them to focus on their careers.

My question for you is does this lifestyle allow you to exercise and take care of you physically, mentally and emotionally? Does it give you time with your loved ones, your partner and children? Does it allow you to give back to your community? What happens when you retire and your children have grown old? Will you look back and be proud of the life you’ve led?

I want you to push yourself to think bigger than just your career and focus on your calling.

Dr. Amy Wrzesniewski, a professor at Yale School of Management describes a person with a calling as someone who works not for financial gain or career advancement but instead for the fulfilment that doing the work brings and its usefulness to society.

Not all purposes are created equal

Taking the time to consider your purpose and the motivations behind it can have such a positive effect on your life and wellbeing. In a world that is often feeding you down a pathway of fame, fortune and beauty, it’s important to consciously choose the life you want to live. If you need guidance you’re more than welcome to check out my new Purpose Masterclass.

Get this Free Guide: 6 POWERFUL SECRETS TO FIND YOUR HIGHEST PURPOSE IN LIFE

The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start?

This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Finding your Purpose in a Noisy and Distracted World

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Want to carve out time and space for thinking and reflection in 2020? Join me once a month online for 90 minutes for reflection, inspiration and connection. Our next gathering is on the 28 January and you can use the coupon bemyguest to try it for free for the first time. Or better yet, commit to growing your reflection muscle by registering for all the 2020 Alyceum Live gatherings here.

“All change, even very large and powerful change, begins when a few people start talking with one another about something they care about.” – Margaret Wheatley

Finding and living your purpose is more important than ever in a world that can lack meaning and connection. But how often do we truly focus our attention on what’s important to us?

Do you feel a little lost at times? What about turning up the volume on your inner voice and work on a purpose that resonates with you.

I’m going to be honest, it’s not easy. Like any type of self reflection work, it is work! The answers won’t all come immediately. You do have to work at it and it will take time. You can continue to evolve it too, it will become your life’s work. But it is nice to think about the body of work you want to create in the world.

Before you jump into the three powerful activities below, I have a few smaller recommendations to get you started:

• Get out into nature more. Less screens and walls means you can breathe more deeply, get more oxygen into your bloodstream and connect back with you. Research says that nature helps our heads as well as our bodies stay healthy. You know the feeling you get after a walk or hike in the bush, a stroll on the beach or a day at the river. Diarise nature time to clear your head.
• Insights and understanding come with time. Set up a habit to reflect often. Just like any other skill or habit, it will take time to get into your reflection flow. The great news is those who take the time to reflect are better learners, happier people and more productive. Join me at the next Alyceum Live online gathering for reflection, inspiration and connection on the 28 January using the coupon bemyguest (First time user only).
• Move your body. The insights can come when we move, that’s what our bodies were made to do! It gets the blood pumping and gives you inspiration. Exercise is not only crucial to physical health, but it’s good for your head too.

Purpose Activity 1: Identify and Utilise your Signature Strengths

Living your strengths each and every day can be one of the most powerful strategies you have to creating a life of meaning, happiness and personal success.

Martin Seligman, Professor and founder of the University of Penn’s Positive Psychology Centre, has invested in a huge amount of research into the benefits of identifying and living your strengths as a way of living a flourishing life. They have developed an online (free) survey to identify your top 5 character strengths. (Head to Questionnaires and check out the VIA Character Strengths Survey).

These researchers found 6 universal virtues, which can be broken down into 24 core strengths. Here’s a look at the 24:

  • Courage: Bravery, Perseverance, Honesty and Zest
  • Wisdom: Creativity, Curiosity, Critical thinking, love of learning and perspective
  • Humanity: Love, Kindness and Social intelligence
  • Justice: Teamwork, Fairness and Leadership
  • Temperance: Appreciation of Beauty, Gratitude, Hope, Humour and Spirituality

Personally, I’ve gained much over the years by reflecting on my key strengths and incorporating them more and more into my life. It makes me happy when I get to use my strengths and it brings me a sense of purpose. Understanding my key strengths has given me an awareness of my leadership superpowers too. My strengths (and my unique mix of strengths) as my leadership brand and people get to know me for my strengths.

Ryan Niemiec and Robert McGrath, authors of the bok, The Power of Character Strengths shared that there are telltale signs to know what is a signature strength of yours. There are three tell tale signs: Essential (It’s a core part of who you are as a person), Effortless (It feels natural and evokes a sense of flow when you’re using it) and Energising (It lifts you up and makes you feel happy).

For those playing along at home, my top strengths are hope, zest, gratitude, leadership and creativity. What’s yours?

A note to beware– after mentoring many people to focus on their strengths, the catch is that people see their strengths as so easy or commonplace that they dismiss their power. You might think – how is this my superpower? Isn’t everyone good at this? This is nothing special. The simple answer is NO! Not everyone has this strength. How can you deepen your mastery of this strength, practice it deliberately and enhance its use in your life?

Purpose Activity 2: Understand your Hedgehog

This concept was highlighted in Jim Collins’ book, Good to Great, and is based on the ancient Greek parable about the hedgehog and the fox. The story goes, despite all the tactics of the fox, the hedgehog always wins because it knows how to do one thing really well and that’s defend itself (think roll in a ball of spikes!).

So this model asks you to think about the intersection of three questions:

1. What are you great at? These are your strength areas! Focus on them, practice them, improve them and know them! What can you be best in the world at?
2. What does the world need? What will people pay for? Or what does the world need and are willing to pay for?
3. What are you deeply passionate about? What makes you curious? What do you love or brings you joy? What’s important to you?

Now spend a bit of time to consider these questions individually – think of them as three circles in a venn diagram. Then the interesting part is finding something that intersects all three of these. According to Jim Collins’s book, organisations that have focused on one thing (the intersection of these three questions) and done it really well, outperform all their competitors and stand the test of time.

What’s in the intersection for you?

Purpose Activity 3: Focus on the Intrinsic Motivators

In life, you can easily get caught up with, as author Brian Johnson would call it, ‘society’s candy’. Which is when there is an over-emphasis on our extrinsic motivators – namely fame, fortune and how you look. It’s okay to focus a little on these things but an over-emphasis can actually, at worst, make you depressed. Yes, that’s right. If you are living the rat race where you are continually focused on material wealth, chasing fame and focusing on what you look for appearance sake – you are in danger of having poorer mental health because of it.

Instead, it’s best to reorient yourself to focus on areas that intrinsically motivate us – fostering strong relationships,

learning and growth, and contributing to a community. It’s been found that people who are motivated by these intrinsic motivators are more likely to be healthy and have higher self esteem.

When you look at your goals this year and in life, what is driving them? Is it about status, power, money or comparison?

Or is it about how you can learn and grow as a person, or the people who mean the most to you, or how you can give back to a greater purpose in life? It is so interesting to use this filter when you come across advertising. You start to see the extrinsic motivators that advertisers use to try and get you to buy their product. Where does your focus truly lie?

Last word

My last word is this – no one is going to do this important work for you. It’s up to you to take responsibility for clarifying your purpose in life and living a more meaningful existence.

We live in a really lucky time (and place) in the world where we can focus on meaning and purpose in our life. Don’t underestimate the power of these simple reflection activities. Join me on social media and share your purpose!

Get this Free Guide: 6 POWERFUL SECRETS TO FIND YOUR HIGHEST PURPOSE IN LIFE

The world needs more purpose-driven people. But where do you start?

This inspiring guide will give you powerful insights to find and refine your own purpose in life.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

10 questions to plan for 2020

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Want to join my Reflection Revolution in 2020? You, me, the Alyceum Community, once a month for 90 minutes for reflection, inspiration and connection. Join us here for a free taster (FIRST TIME GUESTS ONLY) on the 28 January using the coupon bemyguest. Or better yet, commit to growing your reflection muscle by registering for all the 2020 Alyceum Live gatherings here.

A fresh new year to dream, visualise and plan. But how do you get started? Journalling is a great tool to develop our insight, connect with our inner voice and start to develop clarity about the life you want to lead.

I think we can under-estimate what can be achieved in a year but we have to take the time to contemplate what we will actually want to achieve and break it down into your first bite sized piece of this. So what do you want to be different in a year’s time?

In December I posted 10 Questions to Fuel Your Reflection of 2019. Because we have to look back first!

It’s a great practice to….

  • reflect back over the whole year (it gives you a sense of what can be achieved in a year),
  • visualise what you did with your time (consider the projects you worked on and how you spent your time), and
  • really consider on the key learnings you have taken from the year – seriously, what did you learn?

Most often, we sleep walk through life without taking the time to reflect, grow and stretch into the future. Just as useful as it is to look back, now it’s time to look forward.

10 Questions to help your planning in 2020

So where to start!

Take these 10 journaling questions to planning for 2020. They are simple questions but they will take some time to consider. Put yourself first – before work, Netflix or social media, and make it a priority to immerse yourself in these questions.

1. How will you step into the highest version of yourself this year?

If you practiced all the habits you wanted, lived your core strengths and you were totally aligned with values – this would be your highest version of you. Visualise who and what this person would look like, what choices they would make, how they would talk and interact with others and what they would focus on in life. The game is – how do you edge closer and closer to this person every moment. Think small steps.

Your highest version of you can be your greatest mentor, guide and inspiration – ask her for advice as life’s challenges arise. Tap into the inner wisdom you possess. The clearer your highest version is to you, the better she can guide you through life’s ups and downs.

2. Describe your ideal day, week and year?

How you live your days is how you live your life!

It’s a big statement but it’s true. Our daily habits form the foundations for how you live your life. What is one habit you want to focus on this year and one habit you want to let go of?

Take some time to craft your ideal day, week and year. What does an ideal 24 hours look like to you? Take into consideration all the realities of life and craft what it could look like.

What about a week? What do the ultimate 7 days look like? Break the rules, and see what you come up with. What energises you? Who do you want to spend time with? What goals do you want to dedicate your life to?

3. How will you use your strengths?

Want to enjoy life to the fullest? Put your strengths to work!

Professor Martin Seligman, Director of the University of Penn Positive Psychology Centre found that a key part of flourishing in life and work is using your strengths.  So first you have to know them – do you know them? Inside out and back to front? How much of your day do you get to use your strengths currently?

How can you increase the dial on this and use them more and more in your life. Again, you can be creative with this, perhaps you haven’t come across ways that you could be using them more and more in your life.

4. How will you take care of yourself? What’s your health and wellbeing plan?

Without your health it’s very hard to achieve anything of significance over the long term. Think physical, mental and spiritual. This means you have to actively plan for sleep, rest, nutrition, movement, mental clarity and fun! How could you step up your health? How can you make it fun?

I read an article this year that so aptly described self care as not a day in the day spa but the everyday looking after yourself – cooking healthy meals, moving your body and doing something that enriches your spirit – this is real self care.

Don’t wait until your health is threatened to make health a priority. Do it now.

5. What is holding you back? 

Otto Scharmer, author of the books Theory U and Leading from the Emerging Future talks about the three voices that hold you back…

  • the voice of judgement (shutting down your open mind instead of being inquiring and curious),
  • the voice of cynicism (shutting down your open heart instead of connecting and relating) and
  • the voice of fear (shutting down your open will instead of letting go).

How powerful!

Do you ever listen to the stories you tell yourself or others about what’s happening in your life? I often try to listen in to what I say automatically to friends and colleagues about what’s happening in my life.

Journalling is another great opportunity to tap into your stories.

These stories are your beliefs – but you know what, you don’t have to believe them? What? Yes, your beliefs can hold you back and sometimes you need to actively change them.

What beliefs do you need to say goodbye to and what beliefs will you try out in 2020?

6. How will you give back to the community? And how can you be of service to others? 

If you know me at all, you know I see this as an integral piece in life. Life is energised by using our greatest strengths in service to the world. If you haven’t felt this through your giving before, you probably haven’t tapped into the right giving for you yet.

How can you focus on giving to others this year? Often this can provide great energy in our lives. If you were to focus on one area to give back in, what’s it going to be this year? Commit as deeply to this as the other areas in your life.

Maybe it could be to join a Not-For-Profit board?

7. What do you want to learn?

The most extraordinary leaders I know are people who never stop learning. They are humble and understand the world is changing at an extraordinary pace.

First define the what. Where do you want to grow, stretch and learn this year? If you could develop your own learning curriculum this year, what would it be?

Then think about the how. How will you learn what you want to learn? What books can you read? Are there any courses you can take? What conferences can you learn from? Which key skills do you want to learn and foster this year?

Get excited about what you can learn and how you can grow as a person and leader.

8. What relationships do you want to foster?

Relationships feed you – they can lift you up, inspire you, challenge you and support you. Yet, we are increasingly living in a lonely world. In today’s world, we’ve forgotten how to foster friendships with others.

Lately I’ve become really intentional about the relationships I’ve wanted to foster. Which ones energise me? Provide great insights? Challenge me? Nurture me?

Think about who makes up your community? Family, friends, networks, work colleagues and neighbours.

Be focused on the key relationships you would like to develop this year. Who can help you be the person you want to be? Will you reach out to a new mentor, create a mastermind group, attend a new conference to expand your networks. Foster your friendships?

This will take time. Devote time, energy, ideas and resources to develop these friendships. Make them fun. Make them meaningful. And they will create a life worth living.

9. How will you be inspired?

Inspire – the original latin definition means to breathe into. How do you breathe life into your existence?

What are the inspiration sources that help you stay energised and refreshed for the ups and downs for the year. How can you operationalise your inspiration sources so you can perform at an optimal level?

Inspiration is required on a consistent basis so think about the sources that energise you in life. What gives you energy and what drains your energy?

10. What amazing life adventures do you want to do this year?

Ok – now it’s time for a bit of fun.

Forget work, think about what is going to bring you joy and fun into your life. What life adventures could you have this year?

Think about what you’ve never done before! What’s something you could do for the very first time? It could be a new place to visit, a new hobby, a new friendship to cultivate?

Think about your fears – what are you avoiding? What gets the heart rate going? Life adventures can be a mental challenge as well as a physical one. What is one fear to conquer this year? What training and preparation could you do? Who could you enlist to help you? Give yourself a challenge.

Think about what brings you joy!

Let’s continue the conversation here. I’d love to know what 2020 will bring you!

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One simple change to your development plan

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Want to shake up your professional development plan this year? I’ve got a strategy that can play a HUGE role in reframing your professional development.

Without even thinking, we are so conditioned to focus on our weaknesses and it makes sense, for the most part. We fill out our professional development plans with strategies to overcome the areas we are not good at. However, extraordinary leaders are not created by having no weaknesses, they are created by having built mastery around their strength areas. In fact, you have the most opportunity for growth in your areas of strength not your weaknesses.

Pop quiz time!

What do you think is a strength? Something you:
– Used to get an A for in school or university?
– Are born with?
– Can teach others?
– Can learn and master?

Nearly! Marcus Buckingham describes a strength as something that makes you feel STRONG. It’s partly something that you’re drawn to do, something that feels almost effortlessly simple to you and draws on your innate talents.

Buckingham explores the three elements of all strengths.

Talents – These are your innate abilities. Buckingham describes them as “naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling or behaviour”.

Skills – Skills are the action steps of any activity. It’s a learned behaviour.

Knowledge – Knowledge is acquired too. It involves the information that you learn.

If you combine all these three elements, you get a strength! It’s a great reminder – you can’t rely on natural aptitude (your talents) alone to build your strength, it must be combined with learned knowledge and skills.

“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work”
Emile Zola
 

Of course, there are some things that we are naturally good at but don’t give you that sense of energy and enthusiasm and therefore we are not drawn to build our knowledge and skills in that area – this is not our strengths.

A strength must fulfil you, give you energy and gives you that sense of flow. As Emile’s quote reflects, you must work at your natural talents to create them into an area of true strength for you.

Answer: Yes or No

Here’s an easy Yes or No quiz to get you thinking about harnessing your strengths and the strengths of others in your everyday life.

I can name my top strengths easily Yes / No
I use my top strengths daily Yes / No
I encourage others to use their top strengths Yes / No
I work on my strengths as much if not more than my weaknesses Yes / No
I focus on building mastery in my areas of strength Yes / No
I continually look for ways to use my strengths more Yes / No
I work with mentors who contribute to my strengths Yes / No
I do not let the fear of my weaknesses get in the way of my success Yes / No
I build my self confidence in my strengths Yes / No

The more ‘yes’’ answers you have, the more you are heading down the pathway of discovering and utilising your strengths every day.

If you got a few no answers – don’t stress!

We are taught to acknowledge our strengths and work hard on our weaknesses.
But what if this was switched? What if we lived in a world where we focused on mastering your strengths?

In one of Marcus Buckingham’s books, Go Put your Strengths to Work, he says that 61% of people believe you will grow the most in your areas of greatest weakness. Buckingham himself calls this a MYTH.

“You will learn the most, grow the most, and develop the most in your areas of greatest strength”
Buckingham
 

What are your preconceived thoughts about strengths and weaknesses? Do you have the mindset of focusing mastering and harnessing your strengths or focusing on fixing your weaknesses?

Do you struggle through trying to fix your weaknesses? Working on those areas that you find boring until you get it right. If so, it’s time to ask whether this strategy is serving you or not?

One exception – beware your fatal flaws!

In John Zenger’s book, The Extraordinary Leader, it does acknowledge that this notion of focusing on strengths and leaving your weaknesses works UNLESS you have a fatal flaw. A fatal flaw is a weakness that will impinge on your success and your use of your strengths.

In their research, they found that fatal flaws usually have three things in common:

• They are extremely obvious to everyone around you.
• They tend to be your inability to do something rather than your ability to do something.
• They tend to be areas of emotional intelligence rather than intellectual deficiencies.

Buckingham lists 5 ways to overcome your talent weaknesses:

1. Get just a little better at them
2. Design a support system to overcome the weaknesses
3. Use your strongest strengths to overwhelm your weaknesses
4. Find a partner who has a strength in your area of weaknesses
5. Just stop doing it (if you can).

So we can’t rest completely on our laurels about our weaknesses, as long as we manage them appropriately then we can focus on learning and development strategies on our strengths.

How do I focus on my strengths?

What are the simplest ways of identifying your strengths? Check out three different methods for discovering your own strengths.

The first technique is personally reflecting and identifying your strengths. The two other techniques are psychological tools you can use.

1. Personal Assessment – Think, Reflect and Journal

No surveys, quizzes or research – just your own feelings and reflection. But how do you do it? Here are three ways to identify your own personal strengths:

Journalling – take the time to write and reflect on the times in your life that you’ve felt most alive. What activities make you feel strong, empowered and feel effortlessly simple to you? Write down the activities that you feel constantly drawn to.
Ask the people around you – mentors, friends and family, ask them what they see in you. They can highlight your good blind-spots!
Examine your history – look for the themes and patterns in your life. What keeps popping up as your strength areas?

2. Strengths Finder Test

Strengths Finder lists 34 of the most common natural talents through their research. Add to these talents, your skills and knowledge and you have your strengths.

You can complete the Strengths Finder test online here or when you buy the book. It will take about 30 minutes to complete. The book details the 34 talents and give ideas for action for each. Heads up – this is a paid assessment.

3. Virtues in Action Character Strengths Survey

Ok, let’s face it, there are many online tools out there to identify your strengths, but the Authentic Happiness website is coordinated by Dr Martin Seligman, who is one of the founders of positive psychology movement and also the Director of the Positive Psychology Centre at the University of Pennsylvania.

You can complete the (free) VIA (Virtues in Action) Character Strengths survey to help you explore your character strengths and consider how to put them to work. The VIA classification is the result of many years research about people’s strengths and how they are used to improve your life. What they discovered was six universal virtues of which 24 character strengths stem from – get to know yours!

Get to know your strengths

I would recommend you try all three methodologies above. Do your personal assessment first, then do the Strengths Finder test and Character Strengths survey. List your talents and strengths and consider which ones really resonate with you. Think about how you can use them more everyday and build your knowledge, experience and skills in these areas.

Go live your very best strengths every single day.

Now over to you: What are your top strengths? How do you use them? Let’s continue the conversation here!

Ready to step into your full leadership potential?

GET THE FREE GUIDE:
15 WAYS TO FIND AN NFP BOARD POSITION
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.