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Archives for October 2020

Does your lack of confidence hold you back?

October 19, 2020 by Alicia Curtis

Have you ever wanted to pursue or achieve something important, but your lack of confidence held you back? It’s not a nice feeling, is it? It might have been a job opportunity, a board position, or perhaps simply reaching out to someone.

When we talk about confidence, what do we mean? The latin meaning is “having deep trust in yourself.” In modernity, it’s the degree to which you think and feel your actions will achieve positive results.

Do you trust yourself? Do you believe your actions will lead to the results you want?

We all go through periods of lack of confidence. Self doubt, fear, the knockers will continue throughout your life. Nobody escapes it and it’s an ongoing practice for leaders.

The more important question is this: how can you further develop your confidence right now?

Psychologist Albert Bandura developed a theory that highlighted four sources of confidence.

The four sources of confidence

Mastery Experiences

What are mastery experiences? It’s learning first hand, setting realistic but challenging goals, and giving it a go.

Start Small

These experiences build your confidence to keep striving and trying something new. The big thing here is that it doesn’t have to be huge. You can start with really small actions and build up! What is the smallest step that will move you closer to where you want to be? How can you show up consistently with small actions? You’ll be amazed at the confidence this brings.

Even Mistakes Count

Get out there, give it a go. You will either achieve something or you’ll learn something! Every mistake or failure is a great learning opportunity. So start failing and learning!

What to do?

Start consciously building up your mastery experiences.

2. Vicarious Experiences

Ok, so you haven’t done something yourself (mastery experience)? You can also build your confidence through observing others such as mentors, role models, or leaders.

Role Modelling

Seeing others achieve what we want can show us that it is possible. Observing how others achieve goals similar to what you want helps you build your own confidence in your ability to achieve it too.

Don’t Get Jealous, Get Motivated

Don’t sink in to the comparison game. If you start to show envy or jealousy, this is you doubting that you can achieve it too. Shift your mood to one of wonder, curiosity and celebration. Get inspired and understand that if they can do it, you can too.

What to do?

Read those autobiographies. Go listen to inspiring role models (live or on the internet). Surround yourself with examples of who you want to be. Celebrate others and regularly expose yourself the unlimited potential of humans!

3. Social Persuasion

Social Persuasion is having an influential mentor directly ‘persuading’ you to achieve what you want.

The Power of Belief

As a leadership facilitator, I am constantly in awe of the power of someone believing in you. I’ve seen first hand what can happen when I believe in a participant in one of my programs. What they can achieve is incredible! Your confidence can be developed by having a coach, mentor, teachers or leader in your life that demonstrates their belief in you.

What to do?

Gather together your supporter network. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and encourage you to reach higher.

Ready to step into your full leadership potential?

GET THE FREE GUIDE:
15 WAYS TO FIND AN NFP BOARD POSITION
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4. Physiology

Our physiology matters and it influences our confidence. So are you putting aside time for self care, healthy eating, exercise, meditation and good sleep? These inputs can influence your emotions, moods, and your physical state.

If you feel tired, anxious, or tense, it’s going to affect your confidence. On the flipside, if you put healthy foods into your body, move regularly, commit to getting a good night’s sleep, and take time for regular self care, this will also affect your confidence – in a positive way.

What to do?

Look after your wellbeing to give yourself the best chance of self confidence.

8 leaders share their confidence secrets

So, how do those four sources of confidence look in everyday life? 8 incredible leaders share their tips for building confidence below:

“I take a deep breath and think about some of the things I really wasn’t confident to do but did anyway (and they came out good, often far beyond my expectations!)”
Lyn Beazley AO FTSE FACE CIE (Aust)
WA Australian of the Year 2015

“Lifelong learning and stretching myself to do new and interesting things not only builds my confidence but also means I get to meet and experience interesting people and continue to grow and develop as a person.”
Angie Paskevicius, CEO Holyoake
WA Telstra Businesswoman of the Year 2016

“I build confidence in a few ways. I stay on top of what is happening in the industry and particularly in industry journals. In short I make sure I am well read. I also make sure I am actively seeking feedback from the people I work with (both Board and staff). And finally, having a person as a coach or mentor who is honest with you helps.”
Russell Bricknell,
CEO, Baptistcare

“Confidence for me is about recognising that, as CEO, most people think you are fully in control and don’t need support or pep talks. So I make sure I seek it out from people inside and outside my organisation who are supportive and on my side and confident enough to give me feedback on things I need to improve on.”
Justine Colyer,
CEO RISE

“I keep trying to stretch myself by learning new things and doing things that make me uncomfortable.”
Dr Nicky Howe,
CEO, Southcare

+ Surround myself with a ‘cheer squad’, family and friends who will support me and provide advice (even the hard stuff) grounded in unconditional love for me.
+ Reducing the influence of ‘toxic’ people in my life by disengaging from them.
+ Positive self-talk – every day!
+ Reflect and learn from my mistakes and my successes.
+ Enhance my resilience every day through keeping fit and healthy.

Dr Sue van Leeuwen,
Non Executive Director

“I meditate regularly. I find this not only provides a sense of calm – but it also helps me to keep things in perspective.”
Graeme Cowan,
Leadership Resilience Speaker and Author, Non Executive Director R U OK?

“I focus on my values, and have a clear vision of the goals I want to achieve. I make sure my decisions and actions are always 100% aligned with what I want to achieve and my values. Then I have the courage to not care if others mock me. Self loathing is always just at an arm’s length … so it’s important to remember that second guessing yourself is normal and healthy in leadership. And it’s best to just accept not everyone will always agree with you. But if your values are in the right place, keep on track.”
Sue Pember, Director,
Mi Casa Property Boutique, Aussie Orientation Services and Rare Birds Ambassador

Now over to you: what are you strategies for overcoming the knockers in your pursuit of a goal? I’d love to hear!

Filed Under: Confidence Tagged With: mastery, mentor, values

How to get a meeting with a busy potential mentor

October 12, 2020 by Alicia Curtis

Working with a mentor can be one of the most fulfilling and useful career strategies. It can fast track your knowledge, expertise, and confidence. And the first point of contact is make or break, especially when you might not know the person.

So you’ve seen, heard, or experienced an amazing leader who you would love to have a one-on-one chat with. They are inspiring, knowledgeable, and highly experienced. Only trouble is – they are also in high demand. We all have many constraints on our time these days. So how do you send a request that will have the most success?

As a regular conference speaker, I know that you can often get overwhelmed with really lovely requests to catch up for coffee dates after a conference presentation. I love meeting and chatting with people but sometimes there just isn’t enough hours in the day! From my own experience, and from other colleagues I’ve spoken to about this, I’ve listed a few ideas to cut through and make you more favourable to get a meeting with a busy potential mentor.

Let’s start with a big meeting request no-no!

The worst possible request is “can I have a coffee with you to pick your brain?”

This request implies a one-way exchange. It’s nondescript. And it lacks any type of focus or value for the mentor. Most people want to help. But help yourself with the following tips and make your next request outstanding!

How to ask for a meeting with a potential mentor

Be open with how

You can ask for a face to face meeting but also mention that you are willing to have a phone call too. Sometimes it’s easier for the person to jump on the phone with you for 15 minutes rather than (up to) an hour’s meeting plus travel time. A phone call gives them an experience of you and perhaps they might meet in person in the future. Check their schedule for public events – speaking or networking – that you could use as an opportunity to meet them and ask them a few questions there. Think outside of the box.

Tell them what you’re after

Tell them what you want to ask! Outline the questions, information, or value you are after.
“Can I meet with you?” doesn’t really share why it’s important that they meet with you specifically. Make it easy for them and share that information.

You want the potential mentor you are contacting to ascertain if they are the best person to talk to. Maybe you’re wrong in your assumptions, and they may be able to suggest a better person to connect with. You might save yourself and them a huge amount of time if you clarify what is it you are interested in.

Make it easy for them

Allow them to name the time and place that’s easier for them. You buy the coffee. Sometimes it might be easier for them if you come straight to their office. Whatever is easiest for them.

Think about how you can give back

I think people forget the most basic ways we can be helpful to each other. Even if you’re just starting out in your career, you can show that you are mindful enough to make a meeting mutually beneficial for each other!

Here are some ideas about how you can be useful to the person you want to meet:
  • You can share their work with your networks. How can you profile their work or charity contributions to your network?
  • Provide a testimonial or a Linkedin recommendation.
  • You could facilitate some business opportunities for them or send them some referrals.
  • Pay them for their time if appropriate. I know many consultants who are constantly asked for their time to give their expertise for free. Perhaps you could purchase their course or donate to their favourite charity.

If you get a meeting, make the most of the time.

The points below might seem basic, but most of the time we can miss these in the busyness of life.
• Come on time.
• Be prepared with your questions. Make their time (and your own) count.
• If you’re meeting at a cafe, pay for the coffee. If you’re requested the meeting, it’s common courtesy to pay for the drinks.
• Send a thank you note afterward.

Final Words

A person’s time is incredibly valuable. If you’re reaching out to an admired leader, role model, or potential mentor, be respectful of their time and show your commitment.

Now over to you: Have you thought about working with a mentor? I’d love to hear your thoughts about this!

Ready to step into your full leadership potential?

GET THE FREE GUIDE:
15 WAYS TO FIND AN NFP BOARD POSITION
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Filed Under: Mentor Tagged With: meeting, networking

Hot tip to get a board appointment

October 5, 2020 by Alicia Curtis

Many people ask me…

  • What networking events should I attend to meet board directors?
  • How do I learn more about the NFP sector? and
  • How can I understand more about board governance?

Well, I’ve got ONE suggestion for an event that answers all three questions above!

All NFPs (associations) have this event and most will host this event every year (many will run them Aug/Sept/Oct every year).

Have you guessed what it is yet?

It’s an Annual General Meeting or AGM!

Now, what’s your first thought when you hear the word AGM? Boring? Pass? Or something similar?

Trust me, I’ve been to my fair share of yawn worthy AGMs but to be honest, I’ve also been to AGMs where the organisation has at least tried to be interesting. Some organisations will try and have their AGMs done in 30 minutes flat and other organisations involve lunch and a keynote speaker.

BUT…

What is one of the main orders of business at an AGM?

Board nominations and elections!

Who attends AGMs?

Board directors!

So AGMs can be a very interesting place to network, observe and learn. There will usually be copies of the Annual Report where you can read about the achievements of the last year and plans for the future. You might also learn more about the organisation’s constitution such as what’s the objectives of the organisation, who can be a member, who can be a board director and how are board directors voted in.

So what AGMs can you attend?

  • Think about all the organisations of which you are a member of such as community organisations, industry associations, member-based organisations or sporting clubs. You should receive notice of the upcoming AGM as a member.
  • Think about organisations you could become a member of. Once you are a member, you will receive the newsletters, invitations to events and you will have the opportunity to vote in the board elections.
  • Some organisations may open their AGMs to the public and you will be able to observe the proceedings such as peak bodies. These events are great as they may have CEOs and board directors of a number of organisations attending.

With AGM season looming for many organisations, get yourself to a few and see what happens!

Now over to you: Have you been to an AGM before? Or are you planning on attending one this year? Head to the Alyceum Leaders group to share your thoughts!

Ready to step into your full leadership potential?

GET THE FREE GUIDE:
15 WAYS TO FIND AN NFP BOARD POSITION
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Filed Under: Boards Tagged With: agm, Annual General Meeting, boards

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